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Mental Abuse in Relationships: Quiz and Examples 

Do you feel like going crazy in your relationship? Do you often feel anxious? Do you lack sleep and spend nights thinking if you did something wrong to anger your partner? Do you feel trapped in your relationship? Do you think you’re falling into depression because of your relationship? You may be experiencing mental abuse. 

We’ll shine a light on a sensitive yet crucial topic – mental abuse which is a sign of a toxic relationship. It’s imperative to understand what mental abuse is, its prevalence, and the steps to overcome it for the well-being of individuals in relationships.

What is Mental Abuse?

Mental abuse, often referred to as emotional or psychological abuse, is a pattern of behavior that aims to control, manipulate, or subjugate the emotional well-being of a partner. Unlike physical abuse, mental abuse is characterized by subtle tactics that can be challenging to identify. These tactics may include constant criticism, humiliation, gaslighting, isolation, and manipulation.

Now, how do you know if you experience mental abuse? Take the short and easy quiz below. 

Mental Abuse in Relationships: Quiz 

Take a moment to reflect on your relationship dynamics and consider if you’ve encountered any of the following situations. Note down your responses to each scenario.

  • Your partner frequently criticizes your appearance, abilities, or decisions.
  • There are instances where your partner denies or distorts facts, causing confusion about your own memory.
  • You feel isolated from friends or family, as your partner discourages or prevents you from spending time with them.
  • Your partner often uses emotional manipulation to control your decisions or actions.
  • The silent treatment is a common response to disagreements or conflicts in your relationship.
  • Your partner humiliates or ridicules you, either in private or in the presence of others.
  • You’ve experienced threats or intimidation from your partner, causing fear for your safety.
  • Affection and communication are regularly withheld as a form of punishment.
  • Your partner exerts control over your financial resources, restricting your access to money.
  • Independence and personal goals are consistently undermined by your partner.

Answer Key:

7 or more “Yes” responses: It’s crucial to recognize that you may be experiencing mental abuse in your relationship. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals is essential for your well-being.

4 to 6 “Yes” responses: Be alert to the signs of potential mental abuse. Consider discussing your concerns with a trusted friend or seeking guidance from a counselor.

3 or below “Yes” responses: While your responses may not indicate a high level of mental abuse, it’s important to remain vigilant. Open communication with your partner about your feelings and concerns is key to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Examples of Mental Abuse

Let’s delve further into the examples mentioned in the quiz above. Understanding mental abuse involves recognizing the subtle yet insidious behaviors that can inflict emotional harm. Here are some common examples:

Constant Criticism

A partner who consistently belittles or criticizes you, undermining your self-esteem and self-worth.

Gaslighting

This manipulative tactic involves making someone doubt their own perception of reality. The abuser may deny or distort facts, making the victim question their sanity.

Isolation

Abusers often seek to isolate their victims from friends and family, creating a sense of dependence on the abuser for emotional support and validation.

Control and Manipulation

Restricting a partner’s freedom, monitoring their every move, or using emotional manipulation to control their decisions and actions.

Silent Treatment

Withholding communication or affection as a form of punishment, causing the victim to feel anxious and insecure. In some instances, they may also overthink in unhealthy amounts.

Humiliation and Ridicule

Publicly or privately demeaning a partner, making them feel ashamed or embarrassed about their thoughts, feelings, or actions.

Threats and Intimidation

Expressing violent or harmful intentions, either directly or indirectly, to instill fear and compliance in the victim.

Withholding Affection

Deliberately depriving a partner of love, attention, or affection to exert control or punishment.

Financial Control

Exerting control over a partner’s financial resources, restricting access to money, or using finances as a tool for manipulation. This can be a sign of financial abuse as well.

Undermining Independence

Discouraging or sabotaging a partner’s pursuits, goals, or independence, making them feel incapable or unworthy of success.

How Common is Mental Abuse?

Mental abuse is unfortunately more common than many realize. The silent nature of psychological manipulation often means that victims suffer in silence, making it difficult to estimate the true prevalence. However, studies suggest that a significant percentage of individuals in relationships have experienced some form of mental abuse.

Is Verbal Abuse a Type of Mental Abuse?

Absolutely. Verbal abuse is a potent form of mental abuse that involves the use of words to control, degrade, or intimidate a partner. Harsh criticism, name-calling, yelling, and constant belittlement can leave deep emotional scars. Recognizing verbal abuse is a crucial step in addressing mental abuse within a relationship.

Is Mental Abuse Illegal?

While physical abuse is clearly illegal, mental abuse operates in a more nuanced space. The law might not explicitly define mental abuse, but many legal systems recognize emotional harm within the context of domestic violence. Laws can vary, but actions such as threats, intimidation, or coercive control may be considered illegal in some jurisdictions.

How to Leave a Relationship When Experiencing Mental Abuse

Leaving a relationship marked by mental abuse is a challenging but necessary step for one’s well-being. Here are some practical steps to consider:

Recognize the Abuse

Acknowledge and understand that you are in an abusive relationship. This can be a difficult realization, but it’s the first step toward healing.

Build a Support System

Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Having a network of people who understand and care about your well-being can provide crucial emotional support.

Seek Professional Help

Consider therapy or counseling to help process the emotional trauma and develop coping mechanisms. Therapists can also guide you through the decision-making process regarding the relationship.

Document the Abuse

Keep a record of instances of mental abuse. This documentation can serve as evidence if legal action becomes necessary.

Create a Safety Plan

Plan the logistics of leaving the relationship, including where you will stay and how you will ensure your safety. This may involve seeking a restraining order if necessary.

End the Relationship Safely

When you feel ready and have a support system in place, communicate your decision to end the relationship. Ensure you prioritize your safety during this process.

Mental abuse can have profound and lasting effects on individuals in relationships. By understanding what mental abuse is, acknowledging its prevalence, and recognizing the various forms it can take, we empower ourselves to break free from toxic cycles. If you or someone you know is experiencing mental abuse, remember that there is help available, and you are not alone on the journey to healing.  

Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and safe.

Ridesharing Safety Tips for Women

The convenience of rideshare services like Uber, FreeNow, Grab, and Lyft has undoubtedly transformed the way we travel, but concerns about safety, especially for women, have become increasingly prominent. However, it is still comparably safer than hailing a random cab or even hitchhiking with a stranger. 

Because we cannot avoid using them, the focus has been shifted to what can be done to protect the riders, especially women, and make their ridesharing experience safer.

 

How Do Rideshare Services Protect Their Users? 

Ridesharing services such as Uber and Lyft have implemented robust safety measures to ensure the well-being of passengers. This commitment begins with rigorous driver screening processes, including thorough background checks covering criminal history, driving records, and vehicle inspections. Real-time GPS tracking during rides allows for enhanced security, enabling users to share trip details with contacts and providing the companies with the means to monitor routes for deviations.

The foundation of ridesharing safety lies in the two-way rating and review system, encouraging accountability among both drivers and passengers. Continuous background checks are conducted to ensure drivers maintain a clean record over time, complemented by in-app emergency features like an emergency button that connects users directly to local authorities when needed. Ridesharing companies also collaborate closely with law enforcement agencies, sharing information to address safety concerns and foster a collective effort to enhance security on their platforms.

However, despite these efforts, riders, especially women, still experience assaults during their trips. In 2022, Uber released their safety report, which included 998 incidents of sexual assault. This is still 998 cases too many. 

Tips to Mitigate the Risk of Rideshare Assaults 

While rideshare companies are continually working to enhance their safety protocols, empowering women to take proactive measures is crucial in fostering a secure environment during rides. ConsumerNotice.org, an organization that ensures the safety of the public in matters like ridesharing, has also studied cases of ridesharing assaults. we will explore safety tips that women can employ to mitigate the risk of rideshare assaults.

Verify Driver Information

Before getting into a rideshare vehicle, it’s essential to verify the driver’s information. Companies like Uber and Lyft provide details such as the driver’s name, photo, and license plate number in their apps.

Ensure that the information matches before entering the vehicle. If there are any discrepancies, it’s advisable to cancel the ride and report the issue to the rideshare company.

Share Trip Details

Always share your trip details with a trusted friend or family member. These apps offer features that allow users to share their real-time location with selected contacts during the ride.

This not only keeps someone informed about your whereabouts but also acts as a precautionary measure in case of any unexpected situations.

Stay Connected

Maintain constant communication with someone you trust throughout the ride. Send updates on your location and ETA to ensure that someone is aware of your journey progress. Regular check-ins can provide an added layer of security and may act as a deterrent to potential wrongdoers.

Travel in Groups

Whenever possible, opt for rideshare services when traveling in groups. There is strength in numbers, and having companions can significantly reduce the vulnerability that comes with solo rides. If you’re attending an event or social gathering, consider coordinating rides with friends.

Trust Your Instincts

If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable or uneasy during a ride, don’t hesitate to speak up. Politely but firmly communicate any concerns to the driver, and if necessary, ask to end the trip in a safe location. Trusting your instincts is a powerful tool in ensuring your own safety.

Share these tips with women in your life who use ridesharing apps to mitigate the risk. While we cannot solve this problem overnight, we can hope to spread the knowledge to help prevent more cases from happening.

Why Do People Cheat In Relationships?

Cheating in relationships is a topic that has intrigued, puzzled, and hurt people for centuries. Cheating is also a sign of being in a toxic relationship.

Here at LoveVibes, we will delve into the intricate web of infidelity, exploring the reasons behind it, its prevalence, and its psychological underpinnings. We will also examine the impact of cheating on both the cheater and the betrayed, as well as delve into the nuances of gender-specific infidelity. 

Let’s navigate the labyrinth of cheating and discover the answers to these pressing questions.

Why do couples cheat in relationships?

Infidelity, a breach of trust that can shatter even the strongest bonds, raises the fundamental question: why do people cheat? The motives for cheating are as diverse as the individuals who engage in it. Common reasons include emotional dissatisfaction, unmet needs, boredom, and sometimes the allure of novelty. Infidelity can stem from a desire for excitement or even an attempt to fill a perceived void in one’s life.

How common is cheating?

Cheating, unfortunately, is more common than we’d like to admit. Surveys suggest that a significant percentage of people in committed relationships experience infidelity at some point. The numbers may vary, but the fact remains that infidelity is not a rare occurrence. However, it’s crucial to remember that not everyone cheats, and many couples remain faithful throughout their relationships.

What are the main causes of cheating?

The causes of cheating are multifaceted. Some of the main triggers include:

Unfulfilled emotional needs: If an individual feels neglected or unloved, they may seek emotional validation outside of their relationship.

Boredom: Monotony and routine can drive people to seek excitement and novelty elsewhere.

Lack of intimacy: A decrease in physical intimacy or sexual dissatisfaction can lead to infidelity.

Revenge or retaliation: In some cases, cheating is a response to perceived wrongdoing or betrayal in the relationship.

Opportunity: Sometimes, infidelity happens simply because an opportunity presents itself, and the individual succumbs to temptation.

What is the psychology behind cheating and lying?

Cheating and lying often go hand in hand in infidelity. The psychology behind these actions can be complex and may include:

Rationalization: Cheaters often justify their actions by convincing themselves that they have a valid reason for straying.

Secrecy: The need for secrecy and deceit in an affair can be thrilling for some individuals.

Self-esteem and validation: Cheating can provide a temporary boost to one’s self-esteem, making them feel desired and attractive.

Escape from problems: Some individuals use cheating as a way to escape from relationship issues or personal problems.

Lack of impulse control: A lack of self-control can lead to impulsive decisions and infidelity.

Do people cheat even if the relationship is good?

Surprisingly, yes. Cheating can occur even in seemingly happy relationships. This is often due to individual factors, such as personal insecurities, unresolved past issues, or a desire for variety and novelty. In such cases, it’s important to understand that infidelity may not be a reflection of the relationship’s quality but rather an expression of the cheater’s personal struggles or desires.

Do people cheat even if they are happy?

Yes, people can cheat even when they are generally happy in their relationships. As mentioned earlier, infidelity is not always a reflection of dissatisfaction within the relationship itself. Sometimes, it’s driven by personal desires, curiosity, or the allure of something new, even when the person is content with their partner.

How does cheating affect the cheater?

Cheating can have significant emotional consequences for the person who strays. Feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety can follow the affair. The cheater may also experience difficulties in future relationships, as trust issues may arise due to their previous actions. It’s essential for cheaters to confront the emotional aftermath and, if possible, seek therapy or counseling to understand and address the underlying issues that led to their infidelity.

Signs your partner is cheating on you

Recognizing the signs of infidelity is crucial for anyone in a committed relationship. Some common red flags include:

Emotional distance: Your partner may become emotionally distant or detached.

Secretive behavior: Increased secrecy with their phone, social media, or activities.

Change in intimacy: A sudden decrease or increase in physical intimacy can be a sign.

Unexplained absences: Frequent absences or unaccounted-for time can raise suspicion.

Defensiveness: Overreacting defensively to questions about their actions or whereabouts.

Why do women cheat in relationships?

Women cheat for a variety of reasons, including emotional dissatisfaction, lack of attention, and sometimes, the need to explore their own desires or regain a sense of independence. It’s important to recognize that women’s motivations for cheating are as diverse as men’s, and they can’t be generalized.

Why do men cheat in relationships?

Men, like women, have various motivations for cheating. Some common reasons include the desire for variety, ego-boosting, or seeking emotional validation outside of their primary relationship. Just as with women, it’s crucial to avoid generalizations and remember that each individual’s situation is unique.

Do cheaters get jealous?

Yes, cheaters can experience jealousy. In some cases, cheaters may be more prone to jealousy because of their own infidelity. They may become suspicious of their partner’s actions, projecting their own guilt onto them. Jealousy can be a complicated emotion in the context of infidelity, often fueled by insecurity and guilt.

Do people regret having affairs?

Many people do regret having affairs, especially when they realize the emotional and relational damage they’ve caused. Regret can be a motivating factor for personal growth and the prevention of future infidelity. However, the degree of regret varies from person to person.

Are cheaters repeat offenders?

You know the old saying: Once a cheater, always a cheater. But is it true? Some individuals who cheat become repeat offenders, while others may learn from their mistakes and never cheat again. Whether someone becomes a repeat offender often depends on their individual growth, self-awareness, and commitment to changing their behavior. It’s possible for cheaters to reform and maintain faithful relationships in the future.

Cheating in relationships is a complex, multifaceted issue with no one-size-fits-all answers. Understanding the reasons behind infidelity, its psychological underpinnings, and its impact on both the cheater and the betrayed is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

If you suspect infidelity in your relationship, open and honest communication is key to resolving the issue and, ideally, rebuilding trust. Remember, every relationship is unique, and addressing infidelity requires empathy, self-reflection, and the willingness to work through the challenges it presents.

Exploring Karmic Relationships: Unraveling the Cosmic Connection

Karmic connections are often seen as a dance of fate, pulling two individuals together for a unique purpose. But what exactly are karmic relationships, and are they destined to last? Let’s unravel the secrets of karmic bonds and explore the dynamics, red flags, and ways to navigate them.

What are Karmic Relationships?

Karmic relationships are believed to be deeply rooted in the concept of karma – the idea that our actions in this life and past lives shape our destinies. In these relationships, individuals are drawn together by an unseen force, often with a specific lesson or purpose to fulfill. While there isn’t a comprehensive global study on karmic relationships, anecdotal evidence and spiritual teachings suggest that they occur across the world, transcending geographical boundaries.

The Push and Pull in a Karmic Relationship

One defining characteristic of karmic relationships is the “push and pull” dynamic. This refers to the intense attraction and repulsion experienced by the individuals involved. It can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, with moments of profound connection followed by intense conflict. This polarity is believed to be a crucial element of the karmic lesson.

How do Karmic Relationships Happen?

Karmic relationships are thought to be predestined, with the universe orchestrating these encounters for soul growth. They often occur unexpectedly and can be challenging to understand at first. These connections may be romantic, familial, or even platonic, but they are typically intense and transformative.

​​Signs of Being in a Karmic Relationship

Intense and Immediate Connection

You feel an instant, unexplainable bond with the other person as if you’ve known them forever.

Repetitive Patterns

You find yourselves repeatedly experiencing similar challenges, conflicts, or situations that seem oddly familiar.

Strong Emotional Ups and Downs

Your relationship swings between extreme highs and lows, causing emotional turbulence.

Unresolved Issues

There are unresolved issues and conflicts that seem to resurface despite your efforts to address them.

Feeling of Destiny

You believe that you were meant to meet this person, and there’s a sense of destiny surrounding your connection.

Life Lessons

The relationship feels like it’s teaching you important life lessons or helping you grow as an individual.

Struggle for Independence

There’s a constant push-pull between needing independence and desiring closeness within the relationship.

Challenging Transformation

The relationship forces you to confront your deepest fears, insecurities, and past traumas, catalyzing personal growth.

Unexplainable Draw

Even during periods of separation or conflict, you’re inexplicably drawn back to each other.

Unusual Synchronicities

You often experience coincidences and synchronicities that seem to reinforce the connection’s significance.

Examples of Karmic Relationships

Karmic relationships come in various forms. A common example is meeting someone and feeling an inexplicable connection, even if you’ve just met. Another example is a deeply conflicted relationship with a family member where you’re constantly drawn together despite the ongoing tension.

Red Flags of a Karmic Relationship

While karmic relationships can bring growth, they can also be challenging. Red flags to watch out for include constant conflict, feeling emotionally drained, or being unable to break free from the relationship’s cycle. These signs might indicate that the lesson has been learned, and it’s time to move on.

Are Karmic Relationships Toxic?

Karmic relationships are not inherently toxic, but they can become so if the lessons are not heeded. It’s essential to recognize when a relationship is toxic and no longer serving your growth. Take steps to address the issues or move on.

Are Karmic Relationships Meant to Be Together?

There is no definitive answer to this question. Some karmic relationships are meant to be enduring, while others are intended to be temporary lessons. It’s essential to listen to your intuition and seek clarity on the purpose of the connection.

What Happens if You Stay with a Karmic Partner?

Staying with a karmic partner can lead to continued growth and transformation if both individuals are willing to work on their issues. However, it can also perpetuate a cycle of pain and conflict if the lessons go unheeded. It’s crucial to evaluate the relationship’s health regularly.

How to Break a Karmic Connection

Breaking a karmic connection can be challenging but necessary for personal growth. Seek self-awareness, work on healing past wounds, and consider seeking professional support or guidance from a spiritual mentor.

How do Karmic Relationships End?

Karmic relationships may end when the intended lesson is learned or when individuals grow apart. They can also end abruptly if one or both partners decide to break free from the cycle. It’s important to trust the timing of these endings and embrace the lessons learned.

Karmic relationships are a fascinating and complex aspect of human connection, transcending cultural and geographical boundaries. While global studies and statistics may be scarce, the wisdom gained from spiritual teachings and personal experiences shed light on their profound impact.

Remember that navigating karmic relationships requires self-awareness, patience, and a willingness to embrace the lessons they offer. As you journey through these connections, may you find growth, healing, and love along the way.

Does Social Media Ruin Relationships?

In today’s digital age, social media has become an integral part of our lives, transforming the way we connect, communicate, and share. While it undoubtedly offers numerous benefits, it’s also crucial to examine its potential impact on relationships, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. In this article, we delve into the question: Does social media ruin relationships?

Is Social Media Toxic to Relationships?

The influence of social media on relationships is a topic that demands attention. While social platforms allow us to stay connected with loved ones, they also introduce a new dimension of challenges. 

From jealousy sparked by seeing a partner interact with others online to the temptation of reconnecting with past flames, social media can potentially amplify insecurities and trust issues. Of course, this isn’t to say that it is guaranteed to ruin relationships. The use of social media may just be indicative of underlying issues of a toxic relationship. 

Other times, social media can also be a platform where couples can express themselves and showcase their love. However, we shouldn’t take things at face value. An interesting example we can look at are Ali and Ana Abulaban. The couple became famous on Tiktok and Instagram, where they share funny antics and daily interactions of their “drama-free” relationship. They amassed millions of followers who followed the couple’s day-to-day. 

Unfortunately, the couple broke up and tragically, Ali also murdered Ana and another friend. This just goes to show that you cannot really know what’s happening inside a relationship based on what is being posted on social media. 

Side Effects of Social Media on Relationships

  • Jealousy and Insecurity: Seeing a partner interacting with others online, liking posts, or receiving messages can trigger feelings of jealousy and insecurity. This can lead to unnecessary arguments and strained trust.
  • Comparison and Unrealistic Expectations: Social media often presents a curated version of people’s lives, emphasizing the positive aspects. This can lead to unrealistic comparisons and expectations within relationships, causing dissatisfaction and disappointment.
  • Privacy Concerns: Sharing personal information and relationship details on social media can raise privacy concerns. Oversharing or sharing without consent can lead to conflicts between partners.
  • Digital Infidelity: Engaging in inappropriate conversations or forming emotional connections with others online can be considered a form of infidelity, leading to emotional distance and eventual breakups. 
  • Miscommunication: Text-based communication on social media lacks tone and body language, which can result in misunderstandings. What might seem harmless in person can be misconstrued online, causing unnecessary friction.
  • Time Management: Excessive time spent on social media can detract from quality time spent with a partner. This can lead to feelings of neglect and emotional distance.
  • Addiction: Social media addiction can divert attention away from the relationship, causing neglect and emotional detachment.

How Many Couples Break Up Because of Social Media?

Determining the exact number of breakups caused solely by social media is challenging due to the complex nature of relationship dynamics. Breakups can be influenced by a variety of factors, and social media is just one piece of the puzzle. However, it’s evident that digital interactions can contribute to misunderstandings and conflicts within relationships.

What Percentage of Relationships are Ruined by Social Media?

Statistics regarding the percentage of relationships directly ruined by social media can be elusive. Different studies yield varying results due to differences in methodologies and sample sizes. However, it’s widely agreed upon that a substantial number of couples have faced challenges related to social media usage. These challenges can range from harmless disagreements to more severe issues that threaten the foundation of the relationship.

Navigating the Social Media Landscape for Healthy Relationships

Open Communication and Set Boundaries 

Establish clear boundaries and openly communicate with your partner about social media usage. Discuss what is comfortable and what isn’t within the context of your relationship. For example, a partner may be hurt when his or her better half is looking at pictures of the opposite sex wearing sexy clothes. But for others, this may be okay as long as the partner is not trying to message this person.

For some people, the act of watching porn or being subscribed to a sex worker’s OnlyFans is considered cheating. For others, this may be okay. We are not here to dictate what is right or wrong because at the end of the day, it all comes down to preference. Learn the tolerance level of your partner. If you cannot agree, learn how to compromise or meet each other halfway. 

Digital Detox

Occasionally disconnect from social media to focus on quality time together. Use these moments to strengthen your bond and create lasting memories.

Some couples also decide to possibly delete social media accounts following a fallout or trust issues.

Empathy and Understanding

Practice empathy when discussing social media-related issues. Try to understand your partner’s perspective and feelings before jumping to conclusions.

Avoid Comparisons

Remind yourselves that what you see on social media is often a highlight reel. Focus on your own relationship’s uniqueness and growth.

Many couples now share their experiences on social media. Some may travel a lot or some may show off the latest gadget or designer bag their partner bought for them. If you and your partner are in a tight spot financially, seeing these things may prompt you to question if your relationship is good. 

We also have to bear in mind that people always post whenever things are good and most won’t post their struggles. Couples who post happy things are only showing the highlight of their relationship and not the everyday struggles. It’s really hard to see the real situation with just a few photos or videos. 

Prioritize Real-Life Interactions

While digital communication has its place, prioritize face-to-face interactions and meaningful conversations.

Social media’s impact on relationships is a double-edged sword. It can enhance connections and provide a platform for shared experiences, but it can also introduce challenges that require careful navigation. 

The key lies in acknowledging the potential pitfalls and proactively taking steps to maintain a healthy balance between the digital world and the real world. 

By fostering open communication, trust, and understanding, couples can effectively minimize the negative effects of social media and cultivate thriving, lasting relationships.

Understanding and Overcoming Toxic Relationships

Let’s delve into a topic that affects many of us – toxic relationships. These emotional whirlwinds can leave us feeling drained, hurt, and confused. It’s important to recognize the signs and understand the dynamics at play, so we can make informed decisions about our well-being. Join us as we explore the different facets of toxic relationships and how to handle them.

What are the Different Types of Toxic Relationships? 

Toxic relationships can manifest in various ways, each causing its own unique strain. From emotional manipulation and physical abuse to constant criticism and controlling behavior, these relationships can take a heavy toll on our mental and emotional health.

Emotionally Manipulative Relationships

In this type of toxic relationship, one partner uses emotional manipulation to control and dominate the other. They might employ guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and other tactics to undermine the other person’s self-esteem and decision-making abilities.

Physically Abusive Relationships

Physical abuse is a clear sign of toxicity. It involves one partner inflicting harm, whether through hitting, pushing, or other forms of violence, upon the other. Such relationships are dangerous and can have severe physical and psychological consequences.

Verbally Abusive Relationships

Verbal abuse includes constant criticism, insults, and demeaning language. It erodes the victim’s self-worth and emotional well-being, leaving deep scars that can impact mental health.

Controlling and Possessive Relationships

In this type of toxic relationship, one partner seeks to control the other’s actions, decisions, and even social interactions. The controlling partner might exhibit extreme jealousy and attempt to isolate their partner from friends and family.

Narcissistic Relationships

Narcissistic relationships involve a partner with narcissistic traits who consistently seeks admiration, lacks empathy, and exploits others for personal gain. They often belittle their partner’s needs and manipulate situations to serve their own interests. In some instances, they may also use tools like social media to gain attention from others which can prompt their partner to become jealous. Other times, they may use it to inflate the satisfaction within the relationship and hide warning signs. However it is used, it’s becoming clear that social media can affect or even ruin relationships.

Codependent Relationships

Codependent relationships are characterized by an unhealthy reliance on one another. Both partners enable and reinforce each other’s destructive behaviors, often stemming from unresolved emotional issues.

On-and-Off Relationships

These relationships have an unstable pattern of breaking up and getting back together. The intermittent periods of affection or reconciliation amidst conflict can create emotional turmoil and dependency, making it hard to break away.

Neglectful Relationships

In neglectful relationships, one partner consistently dismisses the other’s needs, emotions, and desires. This can lead to feelings of unworthiness and emotional emptiness in the neglected partner.

Financially Manipulative Relationships

Financial manipulation involves one partner exploiting the other’s financial resources, often to the point of financial control or abuse. This can leave the victim feeling trapped and dependent.

Addictive Relationships

Addictive relationships thrive on the emotional rollercoaster of intense highs and lows. The intermittent positive moments, combined with the fear of loss, can create an addictive cycle that’s hard to break.

What are the Signs of a Toxic Relationship? 

In the intricate dance of relationships, it’s crucial to be attuned to the signs that might indicate toxicity. Let’s delve deeper into these red flags backed by studies and statistics that shed light on the prevalence and impact of toxic relationships worldwide.

1. Constant Negativity

Relationships characterized by persistent negativity have a higher likelihood of leading to dissatisfaction and eventual breakup. If criticism, blame, and negative interactions are consistently present, it’s a sign that the relationship might be toxic.

2. Isolation and Jealousy

Research conducted by the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) revealed that isolation from friends and family is a common tactic used in toxic relationships. Additionally, the study indicated that jealousy and possessiveness can escalate to controlling behavior, creating an environment of emotional manipulation.

3. Lack of Support

When one partner constantly dismisses the other’s feelings or needs, it creates an unhealthy dynamic that erodes the foundation of a healthy relationship.

4. Power Struggles and Dominance

Power struggles and dominance can be indicative of a toxic relationship. When one partner consistently seeks to exert control or dominance over the other, it leads to imbalance and emotional distress.

5. Emotional Rollercoaster

Research by psychologist Dr. Laura Berman suggests that the cycle of positive and negative interactions in toxic relationships creates an emotional rollercoaster. This rollercoaster can foster a pattern of hope, making it difficult to break free from the relationship even when the negative aspects outweigh the positive ones.

6. Manipulation and Gaslighting

There are damaging effects of emotional manipulation and gaslighting in toxic relationships. These tactics can make the victim doubt their own perceptions and reality, leading to emotional turmoil and confusion.

7. Mental and Emotional Drain

The Journal of Interpersonal Violence published a study revealing that individuals in toxic relationships experience higher levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. The emotional toll of constantly navigating conflict and negativity can have a lasting impact on mental well-being.

There are also instances that this feeling of being drained becomes a result of cheating.

How Do Toxic Relationships Start? 

Toxic relationships often start subtly. It might begin with small displays of possessiveness or jealousy, which gradually escalate over time. Emotional manipulation and control can creep in, making it hard to realize the gradual erosion of your self-esteem and independence.

Why Are Toxic Relationships Addictive? 

What is the Science behind the struggles of a toxic relationship? One of the most puzzling aspects of toxic relationships is their addictive nature. Unraveling the enigma of why toxic relationships can feel so addictive requires delving into the intricate interplay of psychology and emotions. 

Recent studies shed light on the underlying factors that contribute to the addictive nature of these destructive relationships.

1. Intermittent Reinforcement and Dopamine Release

A study published in the “Journal of Personality and Social Psychology” explores how intermittent reinforcement plays a pivotal role in toxic relationships. The researchers found that sporadic displays of affection or positive behavior amidst negativity trigger a dopamine release in the brain. Dopamine is associated with pleasure and reward, creating an emotional rollercoaster that can become addictive over time. 

2. Trauma Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome

Research published in the “Journal of Trauma & Dissociation” delves into the concept of trauma bonding, where victims of abuse develop an emotional attachment to their abusers. This bond, akin to Stockholm Syndrome, forms as a survival mechanism, making it hard for victims to break free from the relationship despite its toxicity. 

3. Fear of Abandonment and Attachment Styles

A study in the “Journal of Research in Personality” explores how different attachment styles can contribute to the addictive nature of toxic relationships. Individuals with anxious attachment styles might cling to toxic partners out of fear of abandonment, creating a cycle of seeking validation from unhealthy sources. 

4. Cognitive Dissonance and Rationalization

Research in the “Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin” delves into cognitive dissonance – the discomfort caused by holding contradictory beliefs or attitudes. In toxic relationships, victims might rationalize their partner’s behavior to align with their desire for love and connection, further solidifying the addictive cycle. 

5. Isolation and Dependence

A study by the “National Domestic Violence Hotline” examines the phenomenon of isolation in toxic relationships. Abusers often isolate their victims from friends and family, creating a sense of dependence on the abuser for emotional support, further intensifying the addictive bond. 

Can Toxic Relationships Cause PTSD? 

Studies indicate that individuals subjected to consistent emotional abuse, physical violence, or severe manipulation in a toxic relationship can develop symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The emotional scars left behind can deeply impact one’s mental well-being. In the current relationship or even the next one, it’s possible the abused partner cannot stop overthinking or have anxiety. 

This is what happened to Angela*, a student from a university, with her first boyfriend. Her boyfriend was a senior in his early twenties and she was seventeen when they met. They were together for five years. Throughout those years, he was controlling of her, what she wore, who she hung out with, what she ate, where she went, etc.

“Looking back, I realize now that he was very insecure and jealous,” she said.

He started abusing her physically towards the end of their relationship. Angela had to go to therapy where she was diagnosed with C-PTSD. It took her years to heal and it became difficult for her to trust men.

“Right now, I’m in a relationship but it also took a long time to trust my partner now. He has to assure me every now and then that I am safe,” she added.

Can a Toxic Relationship Last?

Toxic relationships rarely evolve into healthy ones without intentional effort from both parties. If the foundational issues causing toxicity aren’t addressed, the relationship is likely to remain toxic and continue causing harm.

Can Toxic Relationships Be Fixed? 

While change is possible, fixing a toxic relationship requires both partners to acknowledge the problems, take responsibility, and commit to working on themselves. This often involves seeking professional help, such as counseling or therapy, to learn healthier communication and coping strategies.

How Do You Know When to Let Go of a Toxic Relationship? 

Letting go of a toxic relationship is never easy, but it’s necessary for your well-being. If efforts to improve the relationship consistently fail, if your mental and emotional health is deteriorating, and if your self-worth is being constantly undermined, it might be time to consider walking away.

Recognizing the signs and understanding the dynamics of toxicity is the first step toward healing and growth. 

How Do You Stop Overthinking and Strengthen Your Relationship?

In the realm of relationships, our minds can sometimes become a battleground of endless thoughts and scenarios. Overthinking, while common, can wreak havoc on the harmony and intimacy we share with our partners. In this post, we’ll delve into the intricacies of overthinking in relationships, understanding its roots, and discovering strategies to prevent it from sabotaging the love you’ve nurtured.

Is Overthinking Toxic? 

Overthinking can indeed become toxic if it escalates into chronic doubt, obsession, or paranoia. It can foster an environment of constant suspicion and insecurity, which can be detrimental to both partners’ mental and emotional well-being. Recognizing the toxicity of overthinking is crucial in taking proactive steps to mitigate its effects.

What Is Overthinking a Symptom Of? 

Overthinking often serves as a symptom of underlying emotional struggles. It can be indicative of several things, such as:

  • Insecurity: If you’re grappling with low self-esteem or past traumas, overthinking might be a way to protect yourself from potential hurt.
  • Lack of Trust: A history of betrayals or disappointments can lead to a lack of trust, causing your mind to overanalyze every situation for signs of deceit.
  • Perfectionism: Striving for perfection can drive overthinking, as you meticulously dissect every detail to avoid making mistakes.
  • Fear of Loss: The fear of losing your partner or the relationship can amplify overthinking, as you constantly seek reassurance to quell this fear.

Of course, it is always a possibility that overthinking in relationships is a manifestation of a mental health condition such as anxiety or anxiety disorder. Don’t self-diagnose but it’s better if you contact a mental health professional, just in case. 

Why Do I Overthink So Much in My Relationship? 

Overthinking often stems from a desire for reassurance and a fear of uncertainty. Our minds might overanalyze conversations, actions, and even silence, searching for hidden meanings that might not even exist. 

This propensity to overthink can be triggered by past experiences, insecurities, or even external societal pressures. It’s crucial to recognize that overthinking isn’t solely a reflection of your relationship; it’s a complex interplay of your personal history and emotional landscape.

For someone who has been in a toxic relationship before, many things can be triggering or they can still be suffering from post-traumatic stress. It is important to know that abuse can take many forms – physical, emotional, even financial abuse. Being through similar scenarios in your new relationship can cause you to be triggered and overthink. 

Another example is someone who may have been cheated on before. Your partner smiling at their phone? Perhaps previously, you have experienced being cheated on and saw your partner doing the same thing. 

What we have to be conscious about is how it’s affecting our behaviors in our current relationship. One interesting example is from 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, a show about long distance couples meeting each other for the first time and adjusting to each other’s lifestyle. There is a couple called Brandon and Mary and they both have experienced being cheated on in the past. While they were in a long distance relationship, it was normal for them to have each other on video call almost 24/7. In this video clip, they were on call during a dentist’s appointment!

Of course, we cannot change the past, but we can prepare for a better future in our new relationship by managing how we react to certain situations.

Is Overthinking Going to Ruin My Relationship? 

Overthinking itself doesn’t have the power to ruin a relationship. However, if left unchecked, it can erode trust, create unnecessary conflicts, and cause emotional exhaustion. 

The key is to address overthinking as a shared challenge with your partner, focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on the negative outcomes. Below, we have several suggestions on how you can better manage your overthinking.

How Do I Stop Overthinking From Ruining My Relationship?

Here are several ways that can help you stop overthinking so that it would not ruin or damage your relationships. This can be applied not just to romantic relationships but also familial or even professional relationships.

Practice Mindfulness

Ground yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions without letting them overwhelm you.

Communicate Openly

Instead of assuming, ask. Share your concerns and fears with your partner. Open communication can dispel misunderstandings and build a stronger foundation of trust.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

When a thought triggers overthinking, challenge its validity. Ask yourself if there’s concrete evidence supporting your assumption or if it’s purely a creation of your imagination.

Set Boundaries

Establish healthy boundaries for your thoughts. Allocate specific times to address your concerns, allowing you to avoid overthinking outside of those designated moments.

Engage in Activities

Distract yourself with activities you enjoy. Engaging in hobbies, spending time with friends, or pursuing personal goals can divert your focus away from overthinking.

Overthinking is a common challenge, but it doesn’t have to be a constant companion in your relationship journey. By acknowledging its roots, adopting healthy coping mechanisms, and fostering open communication, you can cultivate a stronger, more resilient bond with your partner. 

Remember, breaking free from the clutches of overthinking requires patience, self-awareness, and a commitment to nurturing both yourself and your relationship.

Nurturing Love: How to Show Appreciation in a Relationship

In any healthy and thriving relationship, showing appreciation is a crucial aspect that strengthens the emotional bond between partners. We understand the significance of expressing gratitude and affection to our loved ones. This is why we wrote this post to explore the essence of appreciation in a relationship and share practical tips on how to make your partner feel valued and cherished. Additionally, we’ll discuss how to communicate your needs for more appreciation in a gentle and loving manner, fostering a deeper connection and a happier, more fulfilling partnership.

What is Appreciation in a Relationship? 

Appreciation in a relationship refers to the act of recognizing and acknowledging the value, efforts, and contributions of your partner. It involves expressing gratitude and admiration for the little things they do, as well as recognizing their strengths, qualities, and the positive impact they have on your life. Appreciation is the fuel that keeps love and intimacy alive, as it creates an atmosphere of love, validation, and respect. It communicates that you see and cherish your partner for who they are and the unique role they play in your life.

How to Make Your Partner Feel Appreciated

Now what are some concrete ways to show appreciation to your partner? 

Express Gratitude

Verbalize your appreciation regularly. Thank your partner for the things they do, both big and small. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in making them feel valued.

Show Affection

Physical touch, hugs, kisses, and gentle caresses can communicate your love and appreciation non-verbally, reinforcing the emotional connection between you both.

Listen Actively

Give your partner your full attention when they speak, showing genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. Active listening demonstrates that you value their perspective.

Compliment Sincerely

Offer heartfelt compliments about their appearance, accomplishments, or the qualities that you admire in them. Authentic compliments boost their self-esteem and reinforce your admiration.

Acts of Service

Surprise your partner by taking on tasks or responsibilities to lighten their load. Actions like cooking their favorite meal or running errands show that you care about their well-being.

How to Ask Your Partner for More Appreciation 

Of course, this also goes the other way. Perhaps you’re the one feeling less appreciated. Is there a way to do this without offending or slighting your partner? What is a sensitive way to do it? Here are some ideas…

Choose the Right Moment

Approach the topic of appreciation when both of you are calm and relaxed. Avoid discussing it during heated arguments.

Use “I” Statements

Share your feelings using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, “I feel loved when we show appreciation for each other,” rather than “You never appreciate me.”

Be Specific

Provide examples of the actions or gestures that would make you feel more appreciated. This helps your partner understand your needs better.

Be Open to Dialogue

Encourage an open and honest conversation where your partner can also share their feelings and perspectives on the matter.

Express Love

Reassure your partner that your desire for more appreciation comes from a place of love and a desire to strengthen your bond.

In every relationship, appreciation is the cornerstone of love and emotional connection. By understanding the importance of showing gratitude and admiration, you can nurture a deep and fulfilling bond with your partner. Through simple acts of kindness, affection, and open communication, you can make your partner feel cherished and valued. Remember that expressing your need for more appreciation should be done with love and sensitivity, fostering a stronger and more intimate relationship.

Reigniting Passion: How to Keep the Fire Alive in the Bedroom

In any long-term relationship, it’s natural for the initial spark in the bedroom to dim over time. What are the practical and creative ways to keep the fire alive in the bedroom? By prioritizing communication, exploring new experiences, and embracing intimacy with intention, you can reignite the passion and deepen the emotional and physical bond with your partner. Let’s get into the details, shall we? 

Communicate Openly and Honestly 

Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, especially when it comes to maintaining intimacy in the bedroom. Engaging in open and honest conversations with your partner about desires, fantasies, and boundaries can strengthen your emotional connection and create a safe space for exploration. Share your feelings and listen attentively to your partner’s desires, showing empathy and understanding. By discussing your needs and preferences, you can discover new ways to please each other, fostering a deeper sense of intimacy and trust.

Prioritize Emotional Connection

A strong emotional bond lays the foundation for passionate intimacy. Prioritize quality time together outside of the bedroom, engaging in activities that nurture your emotional connection. Communicate affection and appreciation regularly, expressing love and admiration for your partner. Building emotional intimacy allows you to feel more connected and secure in your relationship, setting the stage for more fulfilling and intimate experiences in the bedroom.

Embrace Novelty and Exploration 

Monotony can stifle desire, so introducing novelty and exploration into your intimate experiences can be exhilarating. Try new things together, whether it’s experimenting with different positions, incorporating role-play, or introducing adult toys. By embracing novelty, you can reignite the excitement and curiosity you felt during the early stages of your relationship. Remember, consent and open communication are vital when exploring new experiences to ensure both partners feel comfortable and respected.

Invest in Self-Care and Confidence 

Feeling confident in your own skin can significantly impact your experience in the bedroom. Invest time in self-care and activities that boost your self-esteem. When you feel good about yourself, you exude a magnetic energy that can enhance attraction and desire with your partner. Encourage your partner to engage in self-care as well, supporting each other in feeling comfortable and confident in your bodies.

Set Aside Quality Time for Intimacy 

In the midst of busy schedules and responsibilities, intimacy can sometimes take a backseat. Make a conscious effort to set aside quality time for each other regularly. Create a cozy and inviting atmosphere in your bedroom, free from distractions. Whether it’s a date night, a weekend getaway, or simply a quiet evening at home, dedicating time to reconnect physically and emotionally will keep the fire burning in your relationship.

Keeping the fire alive in the bedroom is a continuous journey that requires effort and intention from both partners. By prioritizing open communication, emotional connection, and a willingness to explore new experiences together, you can reignite the passion and create a lasting and fulfilling intimate bond with your partner. Remember that every relationship is unique, so be attentive to each other’s needs and preferences, and most importantly, enjoy the journey of rediscovering the magic in your love life.

The World of Parasocial Relationships: Navigating Connection and Boundaries

In this digital age, the lines between reality and virtual connections have blurred, giving rise to a unique phenomenon known as parasocial relationships. From defining their types to discussing their impact on mental health and romantic dynamics, this blog post aims to shed light on the complexities of these one-sided connections.

What is a parasocial relationship?

A parasocial relationship is an emotional bond that individuals form with media personalities, celebrities, or public figures through various media platforms. These connections are one-sided, meaning the media persona is unaware of the individual’s existence. A parasocial interaction is a term coined in the 1950s by the social scientists Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl. Back then, people were forming relationships with people they saw on TV. Nowadays, however, there are more ways to reach out to your favorite celebrity via social media. Some of them may even reply to your comments or messages if you get lucky enough!

Parasocial relationships are enhanced by the trust and self-disclosure provided by the media persona, which allows media users to feel directly connected to them. Observing and interpreting the media figure’s appearance, gestures, voice, conversation, and conduct, media users develop a sense of loyalty similar to what they feel towards their close friends. 

Despite the lack of direct interaction, individuals in parasocial relationships experience genuine emotions, often feeling as connected to the media persona as they do to their real-life relationships. These unique connections blur the lines between reality and virtual interactions, and while parasocial relationships can offer comfort and entertainment, it’s crucial to maintain healthy boundaries and ensure they don’t replace or hinder real-life social interactions.

What is an example of a parasocial relationship? 

One classic example is when fans develop an intense emotional attachment to a celebrity they admire. While the fan feels like they know the celebrity intimately due to their media presence, the relationship remains one-sided as the celebrity is unaware of the fan’s existence.

What is a parasocial girlfriend or wife?

A parasocial girlfriend refers to a type of intense-personal parasocial relationship in which an individual, typically male, develops deep emotional feelings for a female media personality, celebrity, or character. The individual may fantasize about being in a romantic relationship with the media persona, despite the obvious unattainability of such a relationship.

What is a parasocial boyfriend or husband? 

A parasocial husband refers to the intense-personal parasocial relationship in which an individual, typically female, forms a deep emotional connection with a male media personality, celebrity, or character. The person may view the media figure as a romantic partner, even though there is no actual relationship.

Is a pseudo relationship the same as a parasocial relationship?

A pseudo relationship and a parasocial relationship are not the same, but they share similarities. A pseudo relationship typically involves a person forming an imaginary or fantasy-based connection with someone they know in real life, such as a coworker or acquaintance. In contrast, a parasocial relationship revolves around forming an emotional bond with a media personality or celebrity, where the connection is primarily one-sided and lacks any real-life interaction.

Parasocial relationships in the media 

We can see these examples in popular movies or series. In the fourth season of popular thriller series You, a character named Lady Phoebe (played by Tilly Keeper) was a socialite and influencer who was stalked by a fan in a parasocial relationship. Spoiler alert: This fan had a whole story in her head that Lady Phoebe’s posts in social media were directed at her and she even imagined scenarios together where they are hanging out and talking. This eventually took a dark turn when this stalker kidnapped Lady Phoebe in an attempt to “rescue” her from a serial killer who was targeting her friends. Lady Phoebe was eventually, and ironically, rescued by the series’ anti-hero Joe. 

But not all portrayals of parasocial relationships in the media are unhealthy. In another Korean drama Her Private Life, a series that specifically discusses the lives of fans, the protagonist Sung Deok-Mi eventually meets her idol through her work and she doesn’t become the typical crazy stalker-type of fan. In fact, she became a supportive figure for this idol and this is largely due to the fact that her life did not revolve around being a fan girl and she was also in a healthy relationship with another man. 

This begs the question – what is the difference between being a fan and being in a parasocial relationship? What are the boundaries? When does it become a parasocial relationship? We’ll try to explore those questions in the next few sections. 

What are the three types of parasocial relationships? 

Researchers have identified three primary types of parasocial relationships:

Entertainment-social parasocial relationships 

This type involves forming connections with media personalities purely for entertainment and social purposes. Viewers enjoy the content and feel a sense of camaraderie with the celebrity or media figure.

These are usually light and fun and many people may engage in this type. It can be your brother or boyfriend sending a direct message or commenting on their favorite footballer’s Instagram post after a game. Or perhaps giving some extra effort to score VIP or backstage passes to your favorite singer or band’s concert. 

Intense-personal parasocial relationships 

In this type, individuals form deep emotional connections with media personalities, perceiving them as close friends or even romantic partners. They may become emotionally invested in the figure’s life and well-being.

For this type, a lot of Korean pop or K-pop groups encourage this type of relationship as they do a lot of fan service. And they do not find it offensive either. For example, female fans would call their idols “oppa” which directly translates to older brother, but in this context, it is a term of endearment that girlfriends also use for their boyfriends. They also give gifts to their idols and devote a lot of time and effort to them.

Maria, a tech executive living in Europe, is a fan of K-pop group Astro. She shares her experiences of being in an intense-personal parasocial relationship with the group’s members. 

Her obsession with the group started in the middle of lockdown when she was isolated and living away from family and friends. She found comfort when she discovered the six-member group and began watching their videos and other content every day. 

Soon enough, joined fan groups that organizes themselves to promote the group and help them win music award shows. This consisted of downloading several apps where she has to collect or buy items that she can later use to vote for the group in Korean music or award shows. 

“It got too intense at one point that I was getting into arguments with other people online, especially fans of other groups who we were up against,” she said.

Though working remotely, she would take annual leaves for several days so she can focus on voting or streaming the group’s new music videos. She also reposts the photos of the boys, which prompted some of her friends to think she was going out with them. 

“Korea really knows fan service and some Korean celebrities would post what is called ‘boyfriend pics’ on their social media. It’s basically photos of them having dinner or something and the photo is taken from the point of view of whoever they were dining with. So it’s something fans can repost and they can pretend that they were with the celebrity at that moment,” Maria explained. 

She also said that there are actually a lot of ways to interact with celebrities even during lockdown. People who bought the new albums can get a chance to have a video call with them if they get entered into a raffle. 

“There is a website where you can subscribe and they send you ‘personal’ messages on their channel like they are sending you a direct message.  On Twitter, there are also certain days that fans call a menpa or mention party where they will reply to your tweets. There used to be an app called V Live where they go live (like in Instagram live) and they read messages or just talk to the fans and read live messages too. For Astro, some of the members would call up and just ask how everyone is. They would do it at night at Korean time and even sing lullabies for the fans. It’s really like having a real-life boyfriend who updates you on their day-to-day life,” she said. 

She finally got to see Astro perform live in 2022 when the group visited the UK. She got VIP tickets which also enabled her to have a meet-and-greet with the boys. Sadly, barely a year after, one of the group’s members died. She and other fans were devastated.

“It was like losing a friend… I was crying and I couldn’t concentrate on anything properly,” she said. 

Maria said that another friend who was also a fan got depressed. This friend left her job for a while and she had to relocate closer to her parents’ house so she can have the proper emotional support. 

“A lot of the fans were crying for months. I felt sorry for those who only had Astro for emotional support. For some of the younger fans, this was their first experience of losing someone too,” she said. 

Though intense parasocial relationships can have their advantages such as giving the fans hope or entertainment, we can see from Maria’s story that it can have its disadvantages too especially if the fans get too emotionally involved or they rely too much on the celebrity for support and neglect other support systems. 

Borderline-pathological parasocial relationships 

This type represents an extreme form of parasocial relationship where individuals become overly obsessed and emotionally dependent on media personalities. Such relationships may negatively impact the person’s mental health and social functioning.

This may be the highest or most dangerous form of parasocial relationships and this is what Maria was referring to, regarding fans who do not have strong support systems other than being a fan. 

“In Korea, there is a term called sasaeng which refers to fans who become obsessive and dangerous stalkers. They would invade the privacy of celebrities or they would get unreasonably mad if they start dating,” she said. 

In Asian countries like Korea and Japan, idols or celebrities, especially younger ones, are discouraged to date. It is even stated in their contracts. This is because management agencies noticed that sales of albums or merchandise related to the celebrity plummet once they get into a relationship. 

Fans like to fantasize about the idols or at least would like to believe that they are solely devoted to fans and no one else. This may be considered strange behavior, especially in Western countries, but countries like Korea and Japan are known for low fertility rates and sociability problems, which can be a factor in why parasocial relationships develop between fans and celebrities. 

It is the opposite in Western countries where it is socially acceptable for celebrities to date other celebrities. In fact, they get more exposure to the media if they start dating, which would lead to more sales or publicity for a celebrity’s upcoming project. 

This does not mean, however, that parasocial relationships do not exist in this dynamic. Celebrities would still get crazy stalkers who would barge into their homes or even threaten their life. This has caused some celebrities to be shut-ins o retire from public life. The movie Rebel in the Rye, a biopic about author J.D. Salinger, showed how the author became increasingly paranoid about stalkers. Salinger, played by Nicholas Hoult, ended up isolating in a cabin in the woods and he also stopped publishing. 

Are parasocial relationships healthy?

Parasocial relationships can have both positive and negative effects on individuals. On one hand, they offer a sense of companionship and support, especially for people who feel isolated or lonely. These connections can provide comfort and a sense of belonging. However, on the other hand, they may hinder real-life social interactions and lead to unrealistic expectations from media personalities.

Is a parasocial relationship a mental disorder? 

It is essential to distinguish parasocial relationships from mental disorders. While parasocial relationships involve one-sided emotional connections with media figures, they are generally considered a normal aspect of human behavior. 

However, in some cases, excessive and obsessive engagement in parasocial relationships could be a symptom of underlying mental health issues like loneliness, social anxiety, or depression.

Is having a crush parasocial?

Having a crush on a media personality or celebrity can be considered a form of parasocial relationship, especially if it involves developing intense emotional feelings without any reciprocal interaction. The feelings and attraction in such cases are based on the persona projected by the celebrity rather than genuine personal interactions.

What is an example of a parasocial breakup? 

A parasocial breakup occurs when a fan or follower experiences a significant emotional reaction to the perceived rejection or abandonment by the media personality they have formed a parasocial relationship with. For instance, if a celebrity they admire stops posting on social media or decides to take a break from the public eye, the fan may feel heartbroken or betrayed, even though the relationship was entirely one-sided.

An example of this is shown in the Korean series Celebrity, which discusses the pitfalls of social media and being an influencer. In the story, a crazed fan who started out as a supporter of the main character Seo A-ri, turned on her when Seo A-ri started ignoring her messages. This stalker who goes by the username bbbfamous started creating hate accounts for the A-ri, which led to her downfall. 

Is being a parasocial relationship cheating? 

A parasocial relationship, by its nature, is one-sided and exists solely within the mind of the individual forming the connection. Since there is no direct interaction or mutual relationship, it cannot be considered cheating. However, if the individual’s engagement in parasocial relationships starts affecting their real-life relationships or leads to emotional infidelity, it may become a cause for concern.

If we go back to Maria’s example, she disclosed that she is actually in a relationship but her boyfriend doesn’t feel threatened by her fan activities. 

“He lets me use his phone to install apps for voting and he also helps me stream the new music videos of Astro. And when we visited Korea for Valentine’s Day, we went to an art exhibit of one of the members! He is really supportive!” she happily shared. 

She said that some of her friends who are also fans of other K-pop groups are in happy, stable relationships. Some are even married. But you can see that a lot of them refer to these celebrities as their “boyfriends” and their partners won’t even bat an eye, she said. 

“It only becomes a problem if you let it interfere or derail your life… if it takes over a major part of your life and there is no space for anything else. If you have healthy relationships outside of being a fan, then it should not be a problem.”